How Melania Trump Is Maintaining Her Voice In A Supporting Role

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As journalist Dana Bash recently put it, Melania Trump, as first lady, has an “informal public role.” The role invites criticism but gives little formal power

Фото: © Depositphotos.com/mgillert

It is a support role that is imbalanced, uncertain and misunderstood and that former first ladies have experienced, as well. "It's an unpaid position with no job description, so by its very nature it's impossible," says Kate Andersen Brower, author of "FIRST IN LINE: Presidents, Vice Presidents and the Pursuit of Power" and "FIRST WOMEN: The Grace and Power of America's Modern First Ladies." To say the least, this support role makes it a challenge to meet expectations.

Too often women are relegated to a support role – being close to but not having full authority. Melania Trump shows that, no matter your role, you can maintain control of your narrative.Here are three ways you can maintain your voice and power:

1. If you don’t want to explain yourself, you don’t have to.

Melania Trump had surgery, for which she was in the hospital for five days and out of the public eye for over 24 days. Her not being in the public eye for almost a month and the reasons for it were newsworthy.

The benefit of having an informal public role and not being elected is that you do not have to meet the public’s expectations. The first lady did not feel the need to respond to questions about her health or whereabouts before she was ready.

There are times when you, in the supporting role, do not have to explain yourself or justify your actions. Demonstrate your confidence, control and power and allow your actions to speak for themselves.

2. Set the record straight when others try to control your narrative.

The first lady eventually tweeted that she was fine and not to worry about her. She gave members of the public, some of whom were trying to speculate the reason for her absence, something to chew on. Still, she chose not to provide details.

Say what you want to control your narrative, but don’t feel the need to satisfy everyone’s needs or people’s curiosity. Even in a supporting role, you have power. Give yourself the power to control your narrative and speak up when and how you want.

3. Cultivate relationships with people who will speak up for you.

After Rudy Giuliani, the president’s personal lawyer, went on national television saying that Melania Trump believes her husband when he says he did not have an affair with Stephanie Clifford (known as “Stormy Daniels”), the first lady’s communications director definitively refuted Giuliani’s remark. “I don’t believe Mrs. Trump has ever discussed her thoughts on anything with Mr. Giuliani,” said Stephanie Grisham in a statement.

The one sentence statement made it clear the first lady was not going to allow someone else to write her narrative. This is "classic Melania," Andersen Brower says. "She cannot tolerate other people speaking for her."

It is not the first time the first lady has made it clear that she is her own person (she was seen, for example, swatting away her husband’s hand in Israel). Journalists who cover the first lady suggest she is deliberate in many ways, from how she acts to what she wears. Reporters Betsy Klein and Kate Bennett contrast the first lady with her husband: “Where he is impulsive, she is meticulous; where he is combative, she is compassionate.”

When someone who may not have your best interest in mind is trying to control the narrative, this is the time to speak up. Being in a support role doesn’t mean you can’t have people to support you. Surround yourself with people that can speak up for you when it matters.

The roles of first lady and other supporting roles are difficult to navigate. No matter your role, you always have the power to control your story. No one can take away your power to advocate for yourself.

Avery BlankWOMEN@FORBES

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